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This inspiring autobiography is of one who survived the ravages of obsessive-compulsive disorder - OCD - (and related disorders, namely depression, phobias, and panic attacks) for over 30 years, and who finally triumphed over these enemies. This book is an in-depth personal account in which an actual sufferer of OCD vividly describes his thoughts, emotions, and symptoms. The author details what life is like for a person who has this ailment and offers encouragement to those individuals who are still suffering from obsessive-compulsive disorder. It is his hope that these individuals, their families, and their friends, will realize that persons with OCD can lead happy, successful, and productive lives.
- Sales Rank: #2062481 in eBooks
- Published on: 2012-02-23
- Released on: 2012-02-23
- Format: Kindle eBook
Review
"Entertaining...highly readable...poignant...informative...and a touch of humor in spite of the struggle." -- Robert O. Collier, M.D.
"Smith skillfully conveys the relentless despair that OCD brings...Mental illness responds to treatment is Smith's message of hope." -- Eileen Mattei, Books From the Border
From the Author
This is a story about victory, not defeat. These episodes describe my personal struggle against an unseen enemy within, an enemy so ruthless that it almost destroyed my life. But by the grace of God and with the support of a loving, caring wife, the enemy is defeated. Life triumphs!
The reader should understand that mental illness is often not a continuous affliction. A person can be mentally ill for a time and then go into a remission that may last months or even years. During this period the individual may behave quite normally. Then, for no apparent reason, he/she can be plunged back into mental illness for an indefinite period.
For many years, I considered myself two separate beings. One me could be almost normal in thinking and behavior. This me was happy, ambitious, and enthusiastic most of the time. I liked this me!
The second me seemed almost another person. He thought thoughts that I did not want to think. He behaved in ways I did not want to behave. This me was a master at obliterating plans and dreams, a master at causing dreadful unhappiness. I hated this me! He was my enemy! This enemy controlled and dominated a vast portion of my life for over thirty years.
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Once I had aspirations of becoming a medical doctor.
My illness dramatically changed the course of my life in every respect.
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After graduation with a degree in biology from the University of North Texas, I applied to and was accepted by the University of Houston College of Optometry. This application and acceptance came after my dreams of becoming a physician had been crushed.
Then OCD changed my plans again, and my career goals took yet another direction. After several years of endless turmoil, constant struggle, and personal insecurity - years of searching for a way to use my education and feel a useful member of society - I decided to try my hand at teaching. Little did I know that this seeming compromise would become a fulfillment of many of my needs and aspirations.
I have been a classroom biology teacher for 23 years.�
Teaching has been an enormously fulfilling and richly rewarding career for me since I conquered mental illness fifteen years ago.
From the Inside Flap
A small, skinny boy grew up on a cotton farm in deep South Texas; his story is one you will never forget... One crisp autumn night Reagan removed his clothes and shoes and crawled into his bed. A night light in the hall partially illuminated his room, and as he lay in bed, he noticed that his shoes weren't lined up perfectly side by side. Suddenly this began to bother him. Then he chastised himself thinking that it was silly that this would worry him. Nothing like this had ever upset him before. He realized that he was experiencing another abnormal thought, and this realization frightened him. He tried to go to sleep, but he couldn't stop thinking about those shoes. He felt an overpowering urge to get out of bed and line them up exactly beside each other. He tried to resist the thought, but the harder he resisted, the more commanding the thought became.
He wished that he could just forget the shoes and go to sleep. He could not. He was a prisoner of his own thinking. After an hour of torment, the boy timidly crawled out of bed and straightened his shoes. In a way, he felt relief; yet he also felt defeated. He had surrendered again to thoughts he knew to be irrational.
Reagan was becoming aware that something very wrong was happening to him. He knew he dared not tell anyone. He wondered if he was going crazy! Why would a person feel compelled to do things he did not really want to do?
He knew that crazy people were locked up in insane asylums, some for the remainder of their lives. He thought that, if he told someone what he had been experiencing, there was a chance he would be taken to one of those horrible places where people were put in straitjackets and given shock therapy. He could not risk it. He could never tell.
He didn't dare let anyone discover his abnormal behavior - his craziness - his growing insanity...
Most helpful customer reviews
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
AWESOME
By Jason Wipf
Quick and easy to read. This book gives you rare insight and fabulous perspective into the lives of those with OCD. I would write more but I think I left the oven on again.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Excellent!
By Cypriot
This is the best book I have read so far regarding OCD. Most other books talk about washing, checking or hoarding but Smith's book showed me that there's a lot more to OCD. I was impressed by the author's honesty and found his writing style enjoyable. I am not a Christian myself but this book remains my favourite OCD book. It taught me more about OCD than any other book. Thank you Reagan.
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